Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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