just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
