i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Plan B is the new Plan A
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
