When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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