If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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