I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
