my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
