weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
