your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
