he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
