And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Randomize
