i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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