this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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