I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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