What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
