I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
