"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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