In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish you could order shots online.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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