genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize