Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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