A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
