he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
