There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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