I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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