i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize