PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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