How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we're making bets on your personal life
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
