He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm too high and old for this...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
