Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
