i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
