well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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