i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
They took my balls.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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