marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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