The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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