How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize