well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
