I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
