I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
