ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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