Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
