I'm drive I can fine osifer
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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