if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
