I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
