My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
