We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
