I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
