Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
