we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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