I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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