I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
