Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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