if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
