This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
