There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize