Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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