No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
