I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
