so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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