it was like his penis was on wheels.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize