we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
