I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
