i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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