Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
