those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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