No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
